You thought it stopped at bigger boobs, booties, and smaller tummies? Hah! Cosmetic surgeries are taking it to a whole new level to address people’s weird insecurities or laziness. Here are a couple artificial body mods that have you WTF’ing:
1. Six Pack Attack
With hard work and dedication, abs are usually the last piece of the fitness puzzle. If you dream of washboard abs, your diet and cardio regimen better be in check. But ain’t nobody got time fo’ that! Luckily, a few Gs can save you all that time and effort with a liposuction procedure called abdominal etching. It works by removing the excess fat along the lines drawn by the surgeon, sculpting the abs into the desired contours. And VOILA! It’s like permanently indented six-pack rings or yokes on your midsection. The final results will be seen anywhere from 3-6 months post-op.2. Thigh Gap Crap
The trending obsession with thigh gaps has people freezing out their inner thighs, literally. CoolSculpting, a technique invented by Harvard scientists, works by exposing fat cells to extremely cold temperatures. This method is called “controlled cooling.” The dead fat cells are attacked by white blood cells, metabolized, and then POOF! They gone! It is not recommended for obese patients, but physically fit people who are working to sculpt those stubborn areas. In fact, it only works on fat cells and 1.5 inches beneath the skin. Results are visible after an average of 16 weeks.
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3. Vomit-on-demand device
Cost: about $3,118
AsspireAssist: Developed in the UK by Aspire Bariatrics, this device is described as the “prequel to bulimia,” by its critics. However, for obese people it has been tremendously successful. It involves a 15 minute procedure whereby a tube is inserted through the mouth into the stomach and out of the waist, serving as a “reverse feeding tube.” Twenty minutes after eating a meal, the person using the device hooks it up to a small machine which empties 30% of the food in the stomach into the toilet. As a result, the body will not absorb all of the calories from the meal. Some are concerned that this is a gateway surgery to an eating disorder. Others advocate that the Aspire Assist, over time, will encourage the person to eat slowly, and keep their weight down. Most users drop 50% of their excess body weight. The procedure is 100% reversible.
4. Temporary Tatas
Cost: $2,500 (lasting for 24 hours, roughly $100 per hour)
This temporary breast augmentation procedure gives women an idea of what they would look and feel like after having breast implant surgery. The surgeon injects saline into the breast. Eventually, it leaks or passes through the blood stream and then excreted through urine after 18 hours. 75% of women who try this temporary surgery choose to get a permanent fix. Hey, you can’t deny it’s helpful to prevent buyer’s remorse.
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5. Innie or Outie?
If your outie belly button is the root of extreme anxiety when your shirt comes off at the beach, fear no longer. Luckily, there’s a “simple operation” called a umbilicoplasty to reshape your little button. It can be performed with or without a tummy tuck. The tricky part, you have to know the reason why you have an outie. Most of the time, it’s because of an umbilical hernia, so screening beforehand is imperative. The procedure usually only takes 15-20 minutes, but since your belly button is central to your core, recovery can be very painful. Your core is the vital “foundation” of all your body’s movements. Hey, anything for a cute little navel.
6. Wanna Make that Booty Pop?
Cost: $60/per session
Thanks to Kim K, butt implants have been all the rage. But the side effects, more like “malfunctions,” of silicone booties have been all over the news lately. After a mid-squat butt implant explosion (Seriously, her butt literally exploded!) and deaths due to glute-related surgeries, women are turning to a vacuum booty device. Forget squats, right? This procedure lasts about 45 minutes and involves two suction cups attached to each butt cheek, claiming to raise and enlarge the behind.