Type “diets” into Google and you’ll be bombarded with more information than there are d**k pics on Tinder. From plans that have been around for half a century to the celebrity trainer who can get you lean in 15 minutes, there are hundreds of unique weight loss diet plans. The pressure to look, feel and be amazing is enough without having to wade through tons of research. This is where we come in.
No need to thank me, but I did tons of top-quality research (a.k.a. mainly looking at interesting snaps on Tinder) and read loads of scholarly papers (Spot Me Girl and Spot Me Bro articles). Everyone knows we should eat less refined food and move more, and thankfully women have realised we are more than our dress size. Yet, research suggests we still have a ways to go, so here are five sucky things we should cut out for healthier and fitter lives.
1. Comparing Ourselves
Maybe she’s born with it, but maybe it’s just photoshop!
Stop believing the bulls**t that says we should be a particular size or weight. The women in fashion magazines don’t really look like their photos, so how can we? Instagram stars? Don’t get me started. I barely look like my sister and we share DNA; she inherited big breasts and an effortlessly flat stomach, I got thick muscular thighs that help me squat nearly twice my bodyweight, so I win!
In reality, we’re all different shapes and sizes with different goals and purposes, so there’s no point in comparing our bodies. Instead of trying to change our bodies to fit some made-up ideal, let’s concentrate on getting them strong, fit and healthy.
2. Fad Diets
What works for a celebrity with a chef and personal trainer is probably not going to work for you. If you’re struggling with your weight, talk to a professional, but don’t believe swallowing a tapeworm or only eating spinach and boiled eggs will make you look like a celebrity. You can’t get lean in 15 no matter what anyone says, even if they have great abs.
Fad and crash diets almost inevitably lead to even more weight gain. The research shows a healthy diet combined with exercise will lead to sustainable weight loss, as opposed to crash and fad diets.
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3. Late Nights
Ever notice after a late night you tend to eat more than usual? Here’s why: Your hormones conspire against you when you don’t get enough shut-eye. Just 30 minutes of sleep deprivation can lead to an increase of cortisol (stress hormone) that increases your appetite.
To add insult to injury, the hormone ghrelin, which tells your body you are hungry, increases. If you want to lose excess body fat or keep it off, never skimp on sleep.
They should be only be used for measuring things like protein powder, creatine, and BCAAs. Instead, women routinely use them to measure their self-esteem. Like a toxic friend who pretends to give you a compliment but wraps it in poisonous barbs, cut them out of your lives. Lift heavy s**t, eat sensibly, and notice how badass you feel and look in your clothes. The end.
Remember cortisol, the stress hormone? When stress levels are high, cortisol levels increase and stay high. Cortisol receptors are more abundant in the abdomen so being constantly stressed can result in increased belly fat. If you needed a reason to book in for that relaxing massage, then look no further. Learning to effectively deal with stress is one of the most important and healthy lifestyle changes you can make.
And on that note, I’m off for a massage and bed!