We all have had one of those moments that we wanted to take back and wish it never happened. Sometimes, there are witnesses. And sometimes, only you know about it. Let’s face it, all of us have felt embarrassed about things we can’t control it. Fitness girls know this feeling very well. I’m not talking about things like squatting and your damn pants rip even though that is pretty embarrassing.
Six Embarrassing Things Fitness Girls Experience:
1. Fire Crotch
I’m not talking about a ginger whose carpet matches the drapes. I’m talking about the fires of hell down in your pants. Men seem to think that their “sweaty balls” are annoying. So, picture this, you have a warm area to begin with, and you throw on tight underwear followed by leggings. While your ass may look fantastic in these leggings, your girl in the front is suffocating. The only option she has is to sweat it out. So, you are working hard. Meanwhile, your crotch alone is burning extra calories from trying not to suffocate. You get up off the bench. Look what you left, a glorious sweat mark. No, not your ass sweat mark but your crotch. So you do a small wipe and move onto the next machine like nothing happened. Should I get into what it’s like when you have to go to the bathroom? Your drenched undies stick to you as you pull them down. Pulling them back up is equally as gross.
2. The Fit Mom Problem
After you have kids, some things in your body don’t work the way they used to. For instance, your bladder. You always hear about girls on trampolines who pee their pants when jumping. Well, it happens in fitness too. There are certain workouts you steer away from because you found out the hard way. If you push too hard, you pee a little. Decline sit-ups are one. You go back feeling strong. You use your abs to pull yourself up and….OOPS! You peed a little. Let’s just hope you’re not wearing grey leggings. Even if no one else sees what happened, you know. You may see people doing types of workouts and think, “I’d love to do that but I’d piss myself.”
3. We Do Fart
Men seem to think women just don’t fart. They just do it so naturally and keep on keeping on. Meanwhile, women are clenching their butts to hold it in as much as possible. It’s challenging to do that during a heavy squat or a powerful deadlift. Sometimes, you know it’s coming, and you set the weight down and let it rip quietly. If you don’t know that it’s coming or it came before you had time to prepare yourself, then it’s usually a sonic noise. The kind you hear through your headphones, but you act like it wasn’t you. You get looks and maybe a few laughs. You become red in the face. At that moment, you must decide to finish your set or not. Do you stay or walk away to make sure there is no “aftershock” about to come. I mean, seriously, you are pushing with all your muscles. One is bound to slip out eventually.
4. Nipples, Nipples, Nipples
Before a workout, there are things you have to check. If not, they become very noticeable. One of those things: nipples. Nipples? Yes, Nipples. Have you ever done a set of curls and then realized that you have THOs? Well, if you don’t check, one could be looking at the sky, while the other is down three inches to the left. So, before we walk out of the house, we put our sports bra on and check our nipples. Otherwise, bad THO will make you look like you have a botched boob job.
5. Lots O’ Sweat
Everyone sweats. For some reason, when a girl sweats, it’s noticeable in areas you don’t want it to be. When men sweat, it seems to be normal (Why are we always hearing about their sweaty balls?). I already mentioned the fire crotch. With that comes the lovely V-sweat mark in the front. If you wear dark grey or black, it’s like an arrow of sweat. Hey, everyone, my crotch is sweaty. Now you have a lovely round sweat mark at the top of your ass and sometimes those lovely lines from under your cheeks. It’s all about the leggings. Wear the wrong ones and everyone will see your sweat. Not to mention that lovely underboob sweat. Can you imagine if a man had noticeable sweat around his balls? Would you walk up to him and say, “Are you hot?” No, but for some reason, guys think it’s funny to call us out.
Yes, they are delicious, but they look horrible on your body. By this, I mean, when your body fat lowers, and you start to lose the girls. If you are a mom or already have huge knockers, they don’t just go away. No, they slowly begin to deflate and then flatten out. If you bend over, you have flapjack titties. You never thought that it would happen to you, but it did. Yeah, you look great in your gym clothes, you can’t help but notice your food-shaped accessories on your chest. It gets to a point where your cleavage is no longer existent. Hence, why a lot of women who are into fitness get boob jobs. They have lost the one visible thing that makes them feel girlie.
So, fitness chicks work hard to look good but also work hard not to make fools of themselves. If you ever slip up and fart at the gym or in a fitness class, just know we have all been there. Most of us had a moment when one nipple was looking at you while the other was watching the guy next to you. You get vag sweat that screams, “LOOK AT MY VAGINA!” Just know, we have all lived to tell the tale.