Ladies, men are not the vain sex. Contrary to popular belief, men are just as interested in looking good naked as women are. Based off the following crazy surgeries, you could even argue they go to greater lengths to better their appearances. Boob jobs and face-lifts pale in comparison to the five procedures listed below.
Also, for your viewing pleasure, we have NOT included the vast number of surgeries, lotions, extracts, animal parts, stretching devices and praying used to lengthen penises. No one wants to read about that. Hell, we don’t want to see most penises, so making the problem bigger won’t help anybody.
1. Chin And Jaw Augmentation
A cut and defined jaw can make or break a man’s appearance. Men know this, and when they are unable to have one naturally…they turn to implants. Basically, a boob job for your face, chin and jaw augmentation involves either adding implants (normally to the chin) or a combination of implants and under chin reduction (neck tuck).
The neck tuck gives the man’s jaws the cut side view, while chin and jaw implants help widen the lower chin and, if needed, add thickness to the jaw. Out of all the procedures on this list, jaw and chin augmentation have the most noticeable change, instantly making men appear more masculine.
2. Butt Enhancement
It turns out men are just as interested in extending and shaping their backside as women. Called “Gluteal Enhancement,” the procedure involves injecting fat (from other areas of the body) into the glutes to increase their size. Even silicon implants are sometimes used to provide more “pop” depending on the size increase specified by “Mr. No-Booty.”
You would think these gentlemen could just up their squat game and therefore upgrade their buns, but this involves hard work which, as we know, some people are adverse to. Or maybe the guy wants a little more “tuchus” to shake around at the club, and he knows pure muscle will not twerk right. #Thestruggleisreal
3. Ab Etching/Implants
Men know how a good pair of abs makes women weak in the knees. Because of this, they will go to any length in order to possess them, doing everything from starving themselves to doing crunches until their lower backs are more twisted than ISIS’s public relations team.
This apparently is not enough, as men are now going under the knife to get a ripped midsection. The cheaper and more effective option is called “Ab Etching,” and involves targeted liposuction that removes the fat around the abs, exposing them.
The second and less effective (because they look faker than Donald Trump’s credentials to become president) method is to implant fake abs under the skin, giving the appearance of a six pack. Like I stated above, the fault with this method is that it looks laughably fake.
4. Muscle Implants
You would think men may see how horrible ab implants look and decide not to attempt them with other muscle groups. Sadly, this is not the case. Some men are obsessed with muscle gain, and when it does not come quickly, they often try different methods.
The most common muscle implants are for the chest, biceps and calves. The implants are normally inserted below the muscle, as to prop up and support the tissues. They appear and feel real because you are feeling the real muscle being pushed out. They are the opposite of ab implants, which are normally solid plastic.
The most effective muscle implant area is the chest because it looks fairly real post-operation. Calf and bicep implants tend to look bulky, and when flexed they lack any definition as they clearly stand out from actual muscle.
5. Leg Lengthening
Aside from the chin and jaw augmentation, leg lengthening surgery is something that will make you literally stand out from the crowd. Leg lengthening surgery involves breaking the femurs and shin bones in several locations and inserting a telescopic rod. The rod is slowly lengthened (by one millimeter each day) which allows the nerves, skin, and arteries to grow with the rod.
After three months of pain (shockingly, it hurts to have telescopic rods in your legs that slowly extend), the patient’s height is increased by up to three inches. The procedure is extreme, but three inches of height could be a godsend to a short guy who constantly gets turned down for not being tall enough.
For the amount of crap women get from men regarding plastic surgery, they sure seem pretty obsessed with it themselves. Obsessed might be too light of a word, as the rate of plastic surgery among men has increased by 273% since 1997. No, that is not a typo. So next time some guy poo-poo’s you about getting a little nip or tuck, throw this article in his probably augmented face.
Continue to the next page for the worst cases of plastic surgery ever!