We have all been there. You know when you are not in the mood, and you say, “Sorry, honey, just not tonight. Tomorrow, okay?” Everyone always says once you get married, your sex life goes out the door. Have you ever stopped to ask why? Have you ever thought about the effect it has on your spouse or you? Have you ever thought to yourself, I wish I were in the mood more! Let me tell you something: YOU CAN BE! You just have to see what is truly wrong.
Most of the time, your excuse is that you are tired. Moms, you probably feel dead after a long day at the office, juggling the kids, and working out. And it’s true, skimping on shut-eye lowers your sex drive. So, when it comes time for bed, you might think, ok, tonight I will provide for the hubby. But then you hit the pillow and lights out for you! You’re fast asleep, no chance it’s happening this evening. Your husband or boyfriend may expect it that night. And when it doesn’t happen, it’s a letdown.
A lot of women think they have a low sex drive compared to their spouses, but when you look deeper into the problem, you can find that it has nothing to do with your drive. It has to do with your self-esteem. If you feel down and not at the top of your game, it usually trickles down into other parts of your life. Your social life, your work, and your sex life usually take the blow. Many men seem to have a higher sex drive than women. And hormones aren’t the only reason. It’s also because they don’t usually look as deep into themselves as women do.
We worry about so many things before makin’ whoopee:
Lose the ponytail, not sexy.
Check the breath.
I wonder if I’m letting it get a little too out of control down there. Should I do a quick scape over the pubes?
Do I smell okay? Maybe I should hop in the shower.
I look so bloated. I shouldn’t have eaten so much.
My legs are getting a little too prickly.
Am I wearing cute/sexy underwear or period underwear?
He is definitely going to see that zit right in the middle of my face.
Ladies, let’s be real here. The things you worry about, most men could care less. I’m not saying you should start completely neglecting your personal hygiene but just relax a little.
Sit back and evaluate what is really preventing you from having sex with your spouse. Men see it as rejection, and we see it as a “job” a lot of times. Why do we do that? Women need to start feeling sexier!
Stop waiting for him to initiate sex and then turning him down. Guys love it when you take the lead. There is nothing sexier and a bigger turn on than a woman who owns her body and shows that she has confidence. Regardless of the type of underwear you’re wearing, how smooth your legs are, the hair length of your bikini area, your hairstyle, and so on.
Confidence is key, ladies. How do you become more confident? The more sex you have, the sexier you’ll feel (seems like a no-brainer). Even if you feel blah about doing it, you should still try. Sometimes, your libido just needs to be revved up. Fake it until you make it, right?
As I said, the more sex you have, the sexier you’ll start feeling. When you begin to actually feel sexy, your behavior and attitude in bed will change completely.
When you enter the bedroom, act like it’s your throne, and he’s in your kingdom. In this space, you rule, and no one can touch your level of hotness. Neither of you should skimp on foreplay. Let go of any feelings of guilt or stress. Too tired by bedtime? Switch up the time of the day and setting. Don’t be afraid to try new things and explore.
Happy Sexy time!