In the gym, there are some rules that people should live by that aren’t written, but they are known. Things like not talking to people in the middle of their set, or always re-racking your weights. But there are more parts to the gym than just over by the free weights, and one of those are in the locker room. There are rules to the locker room that some people seem to have completely missed, so we’re gonna write them down for you and just leave this right here…
Use the Entire Bench
This isn’t your home, it’s not your closet…it’s a public space. Unless the locker room is void of people, please do not unpack your entire bag and spread it over an entire bench or seat. You don’t need your clothes, shoes, socks, toiletries, straightener, magazines, whatever the F else you pack, all on a piece of furniture that is for everyone. What typically happens is someone walks in and their locker is right by said bench, and now an uncomfortable gentle moving of your stuff has to occur because you’re monopolizing the whole thing. Or, now they have to grab their stuff and move it somewhere else which is only annoying when other people start coming in and now 4 people are using one bench because of you. Don’t use the whole bench, understand the needs of others…
Use a Locker Immediately Next to Someone Else
There are a few places where you always leave space if possible…bathroom stalls, airplane seats, and in the locker room. If there are open lockers, don’t decide to use the one right next to me. I don’t need another person changing that close, especially if you’re changing after your time in the gym. We may be two of the same sex, but I don’t need any parts of you that close to me. Its a thing, a known thing that 5% of the population just doesn’t seem to know. Space is good, enjoy yours and stay out of mine.
This somewhat goes with the physical space issue, except this is a visual problem. Again, yes we have the same parts, but people should definitely adhere to the less is more rule in this case. I’ve seen women bending over, sitting legs widespread, propping up legs on chairs and bench to “air things out”. That’s just gross, gross. I think we can all agree it tends to be the older ladies who hold a strong IDGAF attitude, but while I appreciate you being comfortable in your own skin…I don’t need to see all of it. You don’t have to be completely covered up, but lets leave some things to the imagination.
Stare At Someone
It is easy to notice someone changing and see that they’re sort of jacked and want to keep checking them out. It isn’t sexual, its just admiration. Everyone has done it so I understand, but the same way you felt when you finished a set of squats and you saw the creeper guy in the corner staring at you, is how you look staring at someone who is changing in the locker room. This is a complete no-no! Maybe you noticed said person lifting really well earlier and you’re curious what their core looks like…NO! While a quick glance won’t hurt, if said person sees you looking, your reputation at the gym might take a beating. Don’t be the locker room creeper. Keep your eyes to yourself.
Act Like This is Your Personal Bathroom
It isn’t, lets just put that out there first. It is the same as using an entire bench, spreading out all of your lotions and creams, makeup, hair products, hair tools, razors, etc. is completely unnecessary in a gym locker room. If you have something that important right after the gym, maybe you should have cut your workout short and gone home to get ready. As long as the locker room isn’t full, it isn’t too big of a deal but trust me…its still sort of annoying anyways. Don’t be that chick.
Loiter Around While People Are Trying to Change
You know whats more annoying than someone acting like the locker room is their personal space? Someone who doesn’t get that even though it’s public, people still want privacy. Taking 15 minutes to fix your bangs when someone is trying to change their underwear behind you, can be frustrating. Waiting for your friend inside the locker room while she uses the bathroom is no good either. Wait outside. There should never be loitering in the locker room! When I’m changing, I want privacy. When you’re changing too, you’re focused on your own crap, but if you’re just standing there “sort of” checking your makeup I’m going to find myself in this weird “can I put my towel down now cause she’s about to walk away…nope, nope still just standing there” and now I’m trying to figure out if you’re watching me at all. And now you’re a creeper. Avoid anything that lends to being a creeper!
Do Anything Hygienically Gross
You know where a great place is to clip your toenails? Not at the gym locker room. If you need to pop a zit, clip any nails, pluck any hairs…wait till you get home to do it. Is it really necessary for you to check some oddly placed moles right at this moment while I’m changing near by? It isn’t, it probably isn’t necessary. Here’s a word of advice, if you would do it in an office bathroom, you can do it in the locker room. That means only superficial things, people.
Talk On Your Phone for Long Periods of Time
It is sort of a rule of thumb that you shouldn’t take your phone out in a space where people are getting naked, but it is acceptable if it is an obvious quick text or an “I’m on my way” response. Anything longer than that isn’t a good idea. Long conversations in a space where people have to hear you can be uncomfortable for most. No one wants to hear about how you just can’t even.. anything. And if you’re not on the phone but you have it out, put it away. With the way pictures get online these days, you can’t be too safe.
Spray an Obscene Amount of Perfume/Cologne
Trust me, I know that the finishing touch to your outfit when you’re leaving the gym is a spritz of some sweet smelling magic, but you need to be respectful of other people in a closed room when you decide to bathe in it. Some people could have allergies, some people could get migraines. There is a difference between ensuring the stench of gym sweat is off of you and going through a waterfall of Victoria’s Secret Heavenly. If you feel like you haven’t gotten enough scent on you, wait till you get outside to finish the job. When you pour the whole bottle on you and walk out, you feel great, but you’ve just left everyone else in a dust cloud that isn’t so Heavenly.
You know, just earlier I said that bending over naked was a bad idea, but lets just revise that to doing anything around the locker room naked. You don’t need to stay naked to weigh yourself, to wash your hands, to do your hair, to watch tv. Just throw some underwear on and we’re all good. It really isn’t ok. It just…seriously. stop.