Online dating used to be fun and exciting—browsing through profiles, nervously sending that first message, tentatively waiting for a reply. However, these days it seems less like a place to find a potential beau and more like a clusterfuck of crazy people who are way too willing to send you a dick pic.
Sure, you could take dating offline and try your local bar instead. Drunk Dave is fun to party, with but is he really the kind of guy you want to take home to meet your parents? Probably not.
Picking up men in a bar or club is a soul-destroying experience, and Internet dating is an impossibly painful ordeal, but there is another option: the gym.
Wait, hear me out on this one! You may go to the gym to get away from the stresses of everyday life and tune out of your crippling singledom for a few hours. Luckily, it is actually a veritable goldmine of eligible bachelors. Think about it—these guys know how to work hard, they clearly have hobbies outside of getting drunk, and they have fantastic bodies! All of these things make for excellent dating material.
But how does one go about picking up a gym bro? Can you really break gym etiquette and start chatting to someone while they’re squatting? How do you get him to take his eyes off his own physique in the mirror and start concentrating on yours? We have all of the answers!
1. Dress To Impress
When picking up guys on a night out, you might opt for a bodycon dress, high heels, and a full face of make-up that is one step away from Krusty The Clown. That takes a lot of time and effort, and you’re likely to feel uncomfortable the entire time. But not with picking up men at the gym!
You’ll want to make some effort. Looking like an absolute shitshow in your baggy track pants and a faded t-shirt from high school isn’t going to gain you any admirers but don’t go too far overboard. Think brightly-colored leggings or shorts, a cute racer-back vest, and some high tops. If you feel more comfortable with makeup on, go for a natural look when applying.
Sure, your future swolemate should like you in whatever state you’re in, but to get him to stop checking his phone or biceps in the mirror for five damn minutes, you’re going to have to draw attention to your best assets.
2. Don’t Play The Damsel In Distress
Many girls play up the sweet, delicate side of their femininity to attract a male. After all, at a young age, Disney movies teach us that the helpless princess always gets her prince charming. That shit doesn’t fly in the gym, however.
If you act like five-pound dumbbells are the heaviest thing in the world, the gym bro won’t even break his laser-like focus at the mirror to acknowledge you. Instead, go in there and perform a heavy-ass compound movement!
Firstly, those big lifts will make you feel like an all-powerful badass chick while doing them, which will give you some much-needed confidence. Secondly, it is a proven scientific fact that no dude can resist a woman doing squatting or deadlifting. You may even get a nod of approval when you’re done, and that’s like second base when it comes to gym flirting.
3. Chat It Up
I know—the unspoken gym rules state that one must never hold a conversation while training. However, rules were made to be broken. You are now a workout rebel, blazing a trail for all the single fit chicks out there.
It’s key to execute training-talk properly. That means not interrupting a dude while he’s mid-bench just to say “HI!” That will just annoy the shit out of him, but it may distract him to the point of dropping the bar on himself!
Instead, when the stars align, and you have a rest period at the same time, strike up a conversation. Ask him what he’s training for, ask him what his favorite lift is. And if you’re feeling especially ballsy, compliment his sweet quad separation. Guys love when you notice their leg definition. He’ll be putty in your sweaty, calloused hands.
4. Straight Flexin’
The act of flexing. Dudes do it all the time and give zero fucks about who witnesses it. You may roll your eyes when they do it, but don’t pretend like you’ve never sneaked a peek as he slips his shirt off to check out his six-pack abs!
Us ladies tend to be a little more conservative when it comes to showing off our musculature. We just don’t want to draw attention to ourselves. But you know what I say? FUCK IT! You worked damn hard for that body, and it is time to show the world what you’ve got!
When you’ve got a little bit of a pump going, check out your sculpted arms in the mirror. After hip thrusting, give your glutes a glance. Have some confidence in how much of a badass you are, and how great you look. Soon enough, dudes will be flocking over to talk to you.
5. Post-Workout Pickup Plan
You finished up your workout, and now it’s time to recover from being an absolute machine! It is sometimes difficult to find opportunities to make a move on guys at the gym, but post-training is the time when it is completely acceptable—and practically encouraged!
Unlike a normal pickup scenario, you already know you have something in common with this gym bro. So, while you catch him walking out the men’s locker room or prepping his protein shake, ask something along the lines of what his philosophy is for post-workout carbs. See if he has ever tried that new pre-workout. This will also give you an opportunity to show that you’re not just a pretty face, and you actually have some knowledge bombs to drop too! Awwww yessss…
Then, once you’ve got him talking, ask for his number. Yeah, I said it—ask for his damn number! You’ve been making eyes at each other for the past month at the gym. He’s happily engaging in conversation with you, and you’re high on exercise endorphins. Grab the opportunity with both hands and see if he fancies a post-workout meal together sometime. More than likely, you’ll get a positive response, and you can proudly say you snagged a hot, muscular dude from the gym!
Now, go get ’em, girl!